Sometimes, I wonder what am I the position in the company. Seem that I have the power, but seem powerless? That I always making a lot mistakes.
In the recent one, I keep thinking is it my fault making the promise of salary increment. Or is it I shouldn’t making that choice and play safe making all reporting?
I think the problem isn’t about reporting or not. It is about how the company culture in this company. This is where people not more trusting each other. Boss doesn’t trust staff and staff is totally opposite position with the boss. Each work as their own. There is no true friend in between high management and lower worker.
What are trying to build? I didn’t know. It seem to be utopia to believe the wrong things.
I was promoted to department manager 2 months ago after an restructuring. Although my title was always manager. But in fact, I’m never good at managing people or projects yet. Especially for a perfectionist like me, there were always things not within my control.
And I started to sense some office tenses, or maybe there is some office politics which I didn’t understand in the first place at all? That’s life that we got to fight for.
Men, there are those able to foreseen the future and those who can’t. Those who can’t are actually great percentage in our populations. So it’s often that we have them in our surrouding.
For employee, there are those who can do good planning and those who are just purely on the executing part. Each of them have their roles to play, we couldn’t just have purely worker but no planner or vice versa.
Seem everything has their own balance method.
I recently read a good book, which put my knowledge to another level. I always has been thinking how to build a good product. But the true is, I keep trusting the people around me, but turns out that they might not really know how to build it.
Therefore, I might be on my own building good products, bit by bit.
There are people who couldn’t foreseen the future, but turns out be handling the company future. They are thinking too many things and they didn’t realize themselves that has been into the office politics side.
What I don’t really care is too many office rules. Don’t bother too many none critical things and make the good things. I should equip the skill and further proceed with my success to another level. That’s how things should be.
The drama has finally gone down. One of the useless person I should have fired but I let her stay working for me for almost a year. I took it as a challenge that hopefully I could educate her and make her a useful person. But on the another hand, for normal supervisor, she would have been fired long ago.
What is wrong with her? Low awareness. She always thought she is the best designer in the entire universe. When someone thought like that, you know she is going to get herself in a lot trouble. She doesn’t have the ability to work independent. She will all the while insisted that working in a team then could gather the idea of everyone. But in long term, I started to wonder does she really have the ability to work alone?
Attitude? She has a bad attitude. Most of the time, she said she was a straight person, speak anything directly from her mind. But the true is, she didn’t think much and this surely offend a lot people. Normal supervisor would have fire her many times. But I just warned her about it, and just pretend she is a ignorant naive person.
N + 1 of reasons to fire her.
A decision I have made quite long, but I couldn’t really execute it until today. Seem my personality always made me trying to create a win-win situation. But in reality, not every parties is that smart.
Especially, some idiot people will always over estimate her ownself as valuable. But reality is… she isn’t. So difficult to say, she need to face the game over retrechment reality.
Maybe, I’m over worry about people. They can live well all by themselves.
There are people in the early morning start to spread negative energy to people around them. They might not notice, but often negative energy can easily draw negative energy.
Also, sometimes things just nothing to do with others, they also anyhow conclude there is a link. The worst is that they start to defy all others and making people losing hope.
As for them, people with positive energy is their enermies. To them, seem like those people are naive and lower intelligent than them.
When looking at the dark side, never forget there is bright side also. I don’t believe there is absolute correct. Things always have 2 sides.
We often meet different kinds of people in our life. Some are good, some are bad. Sometimes it just the wrong timing we meet the wrong person. If it is at the right place, right time and meet the right person, every things will turn out to be correct. But on the another hand, things just turn out to be wrong.
In many years later, we will forget the times we have been together. Nothing last that long. Even our memory. Or is it just correct like the advise I was given, we are just looking for the things we want. Keep finding and tasting it then we will just use to it. There is nothing right or wrong, it just we are looking for the feeling we have long lost in these years.
I however not agree the advise. After all, I know what I want and know what it should be. Just the timing isn’t correct at all, and the roles isn’t correct.
Wake up and it is still a new good day. Life has to go on. Everyone has their own life. Mine and hers is just an intersection at the tiny point.
On the way to success, there is always people doubting you and your ability. What people actually knows is nothing about you or pretend they know you.
They only mock you and trying to defeat you. But what’s the reason behind? They don’t actually mean it, but just their natural ability. So what can I do is just keep moving on. I have my own vision and opinion towards the things I know.
Just like simple example of the facilities, if even simple facilities we need to be so stingy about it. Overall, we are just going backwards. No reason to be BIG! To think BIG, I think I’m on my own! My very own!!!
This road down there is hell lot of challenges.
Sometimes, we are just foolish and did something we keep reminding ourselves don’t do it in the normal days. For me, things such as spending on entertainment is consider a waste. However, we not always can obey our own rules due to the environment.
I have a bad habit always looks back to the bad things. thinking what if I can make changes to this or to that. What has past is the past. So no point to keep staying in the past memory for too long. Look positively, I just understand, the time and money I wasted in entertainment will be lesser and lesser. That’s always a rule I set for myself and I know I’m heading that direction.