I just realize a theory of friendship circle. Friends come in all sort, however we can categorize them into boyfriend/girlfriend, best friends, close friends, normal friends, not-so-closed friends, very far distant friends. Each categories of friendship stay a certain distant from you.
Some might said their very far distant friends is 100km, for example. While some said their very far distant friend is less than 100m. So this circle of radius is very subjective for different people. Recently, I discover that from a China friend of mine, she at first thought I was the friend that treat her very very good that she has ever had. But for me, I just treat her normally as what friends treating each other in my country.
So, I thought what a poor things, she never has close friends in her life? Her close friends zone are so far away from her, follow my distant theory, compare to mine.
Well, so for her boyfriends might be the only one that would treat her good. For me, normal/close friends already would treat me that degree, which from her point is only boyfriend would treat her. She felt uneasy when I treat her like that, because I’m in her she so call “boyfriend-zone” already. Well, so in the end, I just gave up, she can just do whatever she wants. Maybe she treat me as her best friend, but to me, she is already in my not-so-close friend zone.
When I mentioned about others, I always respect them. I believe there are good virtue inside them I could learn from them. But to them, they might not think the same way. They see people that are very different from them, they avoided them.
And too bad, they limited their circle and avoiding contact whom have different experience in their life. All kinds of people, I really think have their virtue for us to learn.
It’s complicated when you think you know someone. But turns out that it is very complicated.
I know a girl which I thought she is very good to communicate, but when I went deeper, I found that she is much complicated. Or I should put it that she is just like other China people.
I thought she can be friend, but really is she like that? Or she just treat me like a working partner? Maybe at this country, this environment, the kind of good soul can’t be found here at this place. Everyone is evil and selfish, think of themselves. Setting up defence wall for people outside to access.
After a week of observation, just ya, she is easy to communicate and can make fun. But really, her mentality is difficult to be synced. Possibly because I’m the one that fun, so people actually easier to make friend with me.
In our world, we have all kinds of people walking passed us. Some are good, some are bad. Some share the same mind, some are not. However, timing is important.
Sometimes, I just walk too ahead of time. People around me sound to me very behind of time.
Sometimes, I wonder what am I the position in the company. Seem that I have the power, but seem powerless? That I always making a lot mistakes.
In the recent one, I keep thinking is it my fault making the promise of salary increment. Or is it I shouldn’t making that choice and play safe making all reporting?
I think the problem isn’t about reporting or not. It is about how the company culture in this company. This is where people not more trusting each other. Boss doesn’t trust staff and staff is totally opposite position with the boss. Each work as their own. There is no true friend in between high management and lower worker.
What are trying to build? I didn’t know. It seem to be utopia to believe the wrong things.
I was promoted to department manager 2 months ago after an restructuring. Although my title was always manager. But in fact, I’m never good at managing people or projects yet. Especially for a perfectionist like me, there were always things not within my control.
And I started to sense some office tenses, or maybe there is some office politics which I didn’t understand in the first place at all? That’s life that we got to fight for.
Men, there are those able to foreseen the future and those who can’t. Those who can’t are actually great percentage in our populations. So it’s often that we have them in our surrouding.
For employee, there are those who can do good planning and those who are just purely on the executing part. Each of them have their roles to play, we couldn’t just have purely worker but no planner or vice versa.
Seem everything has their own balance method.
I recently read a good book, which put my knowledge to another level. I always has been thinking how to build a good product. But the true is, I keep trusting the people around me, but turns out that they might not really know how to build it.
Therefore, I might be on my own building good products, bit by bit.
There are people who couldn’t foreseen the future, but turns out be handling the company future. They are thinking too many things and they didn’t realize themselves that has been into the office politics side.
What I don’t really care is too many office rules. Don’t bother too many none critical things and make the good things. I should equip the skill and further proceed with my success to another level. That’s how things should be.
The drama has finally gone down. One of the useless person I should have fired but I let her stay working for me for almost a year. I took it as a challenge that hopefully I could educate her and make her a useful person. But on the another hand, for normal supervisor, she would have been fired long ago.
What is wrong with her? Low awareness. She always thought she is the best designer in the entire universe. When someone thought like that, you know she is going to get herself in a lot trouble. She doesn’t have the ability to work independent. She will all the while insisted that working in a team then could gather the idea of everyone. But in long term, I started to wonder does she really have the ability to work alone?
Attitude? She has a bad attitude. Most of the time, she said she was a straight person, speak anything directly from her mind. But the true is, she didn’t think much and this surely offend a lot people. Normal supervisor would have fire her many times. But I just warned her about it, and just pretend she is a ignorant naive person.
N + 1 of reasons to fire her.
A decision I have made quite long, but I couldn’t really execute it until today. Seem my personality always made me trying to create a win-win situation. But in reality, not every parties is that smart.
Especially, some idiot people will always over estimate her ownself as valuable. But reality is… she isn’t. So difficult to say, she need to face the game over retrechment reality.
Maybe, I’m over worry about people. They can live well all by themselves.